I thought I lost all my inspiration and desire to write, until today. Today I am in wonder and I stand in awe of all that has been given to me. My beautiful wife Kari, who has taught me to trust love and know that it will not fail you and to behold the wonder of each moment of life and to believe in myself. Kari I will love you until the end of time.
I have never been a religious person, but in our children’s eyes I see the spirit of what is truly divine, and holy. There is no greater treasure in the world. As Kahlil Gibran wrote ~they are the sons and daughters of life longing for its self. When our first son Kai was born it was one of the happiest days of my life and for two years Kari and I surrounded him with all the love we possessed. He was our world. Next came Kian. With his birth I believed my world was complete. My beautiful Wife and two handsome boys I had all I ever wished for. But the story was not yet complete. In March we found out we were having triplets!!! In an instant there was a strange mixture of joy and fear. Joy because of the miracle we were a part of and fear because I was not prepared for this gift. Those days were the most stressful times of my life. We had little idea of the road ahead and of our days and nights to come. My days were filled with worry for my Wife and our unborn children and my nights were spent tying to calm my mind and believe we would find a way. There were many doctor appointments including ultrasounds, non-stress test, as well of warnings that Kari may be on bed rest and the babies in the NICU. My wife Kari was amazing, there are no words I have express what she did each day. She took care of the household, our two children and me. She went to most doctor appointments by herself. She was a fierce advocate for our children’s well being and she was determined to keep those three blessings with her as long as it was medically safe. She fought through worry, fear and frustration. I know very little of childbirth but I believe women are born with an amazing instinct. I told Kari to always no mater what trust her instinct. I spent each day afraid hoping everything would be okay.
.August 19, 2011 arrived and so did our three little ones. The day our children came into the world I was filled with complete joy and a rich happiness. I never fathomed having a child in the NICU, but there we were with all three there. Only families of multiple children can understand the swirling winds of this beautiful and chaotic life.
I held my Wife’s hand and caressed her hair as Kari delivered Brielle then River followed by Liam. The staff was exceptional. They were at ease as they cared for each child that was given to there individual team. When I saw Liam I could see his chest rise and fall as he labored for breath. I was reassured he was ok he just needed some assistance. The girls looked fine, considering they were premature. They were placed in their plastic pods and examined. Once I knew Kari was stable I escorted our children with the help of the neonatologists and nurses to their room. When we arrived I watched our children go through further test and I could hear all their cries. A feeling of absolute helplessness took over me. I tried to attend to the babies as much as I could. As I came to each one the attending staff explained everything they were doing and why. This gave me a welcomed sense of calm. I’ll move forward to the days and nights spent in the NICU, which were frightening. The weeks spent in the NICU were spiritually, emotionally and physically exhausting. The Nursing staff was wonderful. And there were those who rose beyond their medical duty. Kari and I have already thanked them for their kindness and their wisdom, we will never forget them. The homecoming was an event pars none. The ever-flowing cycle of feedings, burping, diaper changes, bottle washings napping and did I mention we have a five and two year old sons. I am not complaining I love my life I am blessed beyond measure.
I want to thank all the wonderful people who offered help, meals and advice. Also the unselfish doulas that volunteered. They sacrificed their time with their families to help us in every way. Their was even one who spent money out of her own pocket to have a sitter take care of her children while she came to our house and worked non stop. We are so grateful for the time all of you have given us. Weather it is five minutes or five hours they were with us, we are thankful. A dear thank you to Cay and Shawn, your help early on enabled us to go to the NICU and for me to be in the hospital with Kari as she recovered. You both entertained and took great care of the boys. Thank you to all the staff of Evergreen Hospital who worked hard in assisting the babies, which enabled them to come home. Thank you to all the people who reached out to help. You are cut from a different cloth because kindness comes so easily to you.
I wrote this poem for Kari a few years ago and for some reason since the babies have come it’s always on my mind
The waves can find their way to shore from distant lands we can’t explore
And love can bind world’s set apart
To make the two a single heart
I love you Kari.
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