Thursday, January 19, 2012


Liam at the aquarium
Here the babies are in their baby swings. We try to make sure they are not in them too long, but it is a great place when I cannot hold them.
Here is River and her sweet smile.
Here is Miss Brielle
Brielle and River

Kai, Brielle, Liam, River, "baby dolls", and Kian

Today the babies are 5 months old. These last five months have been amazing, there has been an intense amount of work, everyone growing, and fun.

The boys are growing a bit more independent and are able
to play more together. Legos have brought them together. Every night I give the babies a bath in the sink in the bathroom. It gets a little crazy. Babies are screaming and I scramble to tend to them. During baths Kai and Kian make great lego creations. Once the babies are clean Sidney and I feed them as Kian and Kai bring the parade of legos in. It is a great time of day.

The babies are growing here is a video of Liam. It was the first time he touched his sister and interacted with her.

Liam weighs 13.03 pounds and is getting stronger every week. Liam was born with a lower tone and has had problems feeding and still can't really cry, cough or sneeze well. The muscles in his trunk are low and will get stronger. I still cannot wait to hear a real cry and not a wimper. He is getting stronger and able to support his head a bit. He has physical therapy a few times a month and I know that will help. He was the first to laugh out loud and loves being played with. He has a huge smile and it is so sweet. We are still working on nursing. He is not very strong and may not transfer much, but we are working on it.

Brielle is 15.03 pounds. She loves to laugh and must be in constant contact with Mommy. She loves to breastfeed all night long. She is the only one who can nurse. She receives almost 100% breastmilk. She is so sweet.

River is the strongest and has been smiling for awhile. She always meets us with a smile. She weighs 16.03 pounds. River is so happy and loves to play.

The boys are so gentle with the babies. They hug them and snuggle them all day. They love to make them smile and laugh.

We have had so much snow and the boys have been having so much fun. They built a great snowman with Sidney

Saturday, January 7, 2012

I miss my Dad

I have thought about my Dad often, less as the years go by. I don't know what it was about tonight, maybe that I had a slow half an hour and my mind began to calm from the busy day. It was the first time I had thought about my Dad and how his relationship would be with the big boys and the babies. It would be amazing.

My Dad did the best he could and raised me and my older brother since I was seven. Not an ideal childhood, but he would be so much in my little ones lives. Kai and Kian do not get all the attention they once did. My Dad's favorite pastime was to lay in bed and watch tv, he loved it. I can see him laying in bed inviting Kai and Kian with a nickname like "boy boy" or something else that was intended to be special for each. As a side note he would have asked when they were born, "why can't you give them normal names". He would have always made sure each one felt on top of the world after spending time with them. He always had a way of making whoever he was talking to feel special. The boys have a void from Sidney and I being so busy, my Dad would have filled that. He also would have filled them with a ton off candy, soda and tv. He would have told them to hide it from me. This past New Years Eve I told them we would have a party like my Dad use to have. We made sodas with cherries and their juice (not the healthy ones, but the sugary red ones), ice cream sundays and part favors. It was their first sodas and they loved them. The only thing I forgot to do was pull out the pots and pans to bang at midnight.

My Dad would love these babies so much, but never fawn over them in front of the boys as he would know the boys need attention first. He would think the girls were the most beautiful babies to ever be born and would see no problem with Liam. If I mentioned his tone or weakness he would say "he looks good to me I don't know what you're worried about". That would be his way of saying go with it and he will be fine.

If he were here he would send me out of the house to the salon so Sidney and him could give me a break. And so they could have time without me hovering around.

I really wish my Dad was still alive. I know my children would be better with him in their lives. I will remember him and keep him alive in the stories I tell my little ones. If my Dad would have had a colonoscopy he would be alive today. If anyone is reading this make sure everyone you love 50 and over has had a colonoscopy, it would have caught my father's cancer. It has been 8 years sine he died and it would be so nice to have him here.