Life with triplets in the NICU

River in the open crib
Liam in the open crib
Brielle in the open crib
I am holding Brielle and Liam

The babies have been in the NICU for ten days. I must say it is very hard. One of the most difficult things I have ever done. It is so unnatural to have children separated from their parents.

I feel sad when we leave our older boys because I know they miss us so much and I really miss them. I feel so sad when we leave the babies because we miss them so much.

With that being said the babies are beautiful. I am tremendously in love with them. They each are still small and so young, but already developing their own little personalities. Liam is the smallest and still having some respiratory issues. He is doing much better now. He is starting to cry a robust cry and getting stronger every day. The babies were all moved to a large crib yesterday. They are finally together again. They can smell each other and touch each other. They even have clothes on which makes them look less clinical and more like babies ready to come home.

Brielle is the front runner and may be the first to come home. She is still having some oxygen saturation issues but just periodically. Once she learns how to feed from a nipple fully and without issue she will come home! River is right behind her and still having a few cardiac episodes, they too will hopefully fade and once she can feed she will come home. Liam may be a week behind his sisters. His air flow is going down and now only at 1. I have had him to the breast a few times and am waiting for him to feed. The girls can feed, but my supply is so low they tire quickly. I am really looking forward to seeing them.

The babies are so lucky to have some really great nurses and doctors caring for them. The lactation consultants (some are also the babies nurses so they can help while we visit too) are great too and are helping as my supply comes in.

I am determined to exclusively breastfeed these sweet little ones. It is really going poorly though. We have invested a lot of money in donor milk because mine has not come in yet. I sit here pumping and each time eagerly look at the amount and hope for more. I am only getting 5-10ml from one and 25-40ml from the other. It is not enough to feed even one baby. I am not sure what the issue is this time. I breastfed Kai and Kian for over 2.5 years without issue. This time even with pumping every 2 hours during the day and every 3-4 at night. I am still not getting milk in. We will have to start supplementing with some formula today. I cry every time I think of it. I want our little ones to be able to grow on my milk. I will keep going it is so important to me. I was getting only 3-5 hours of sleep a night. The last 3 nights I got 7-10 hours and I am hoping the extra sleep will help.

The pain has been gone for many days and I have been off all pain medicine since. I have been up doing all normal activities and going to see the babies every day. Everyday I heel a bit more and feel better. As a family we are getting back to normal, a new degree of normal. Kai and Kian still need more time with us. We are working at it and hope to find some balance soon.